Directions to the board game Life

The Updated Rules to The Game of Life

Vintage LIFE logoEditor’s Note: I’ve mentioned Revan before in a previous article, and now he is joining us as a Guest Star. If you want to see your work featured on PvP, check out our Submission page.

- Rachel

There are some pointless video games out there like Bejeweled, Tetris, and Space Invaders. All of them have the same premise: Do something, lineup gems, stack blocks, all in order to… keep doing it. There is no point to these games, and they are only fun as long as we don’t ask questions like: “where are the Space Invaders invading?” and “where do all the blocks go?”

This is not a new phenomenon; we have been playing pointless games with one another for ages. Just think about most board games like Chutes and Ladders, Candy Land, and The Game of Life. All of them have the same basic mechanic: Spin wheel to advance across the board from point A to point B. Why? Don’t ask that, you’ll ruin the game! You can’t even say that avoiding obstacles is a real game mechanic, because even if you can choose the direction you’re moving, the distance you move is dictated by the spinning arrow of fate.

And we all know how that ended.There is no real goal in these games we played as children, but most of them were tying to teach us something. Chutes and Ladders was trying to instill basic moral standards, and Candy Land teaches children to (I’m assuming) avoid pedophiles. These board games have that as a one-up on Tetris et al, which only teach us about the existential and futile nature of existence, but I feel we have a missed opportunity with The Game of Life to teach children about the true nature of the world. The problem is The Game of Life does not really depict any reality that ever existed outside the mind of Andrew Ryan.

So I have taken it upon myself to rewrite the rules to the modern edition of the game known as LIFE, to fit the more realistic experiences that we have all shared.

First off, we must add some new pieces to the game, which is woefully lacking in certain departments.

  • People Pegs: We all know that LIFE has a load of People Pegs that not only represent the Players in their cars, but the families they accrue along the way. There are Blue People Pegs for male characters, and Pink People Pegs for female characters. That’s right, LIFE is terribly white-washed, because we all know that those are Cisgendered White-People Pegs right? No, they aren’t necessarily white, but they are all the same, and that doesn’t reflect reality quite right. So let’s diversify a little bit: we will call the Blue and Pink People Pegs Group 1, and have Green and Purple People Pegs that will act as minorities, Group 2. In Group 2 Green will be male and Purple will be female.

Ouija Board...

by sehouse

The only experience I have with such a thing (didn't know there were any other "spirit" boards) was when I was a kid maybe 8 or 9.
My mother actually had one from the 50's or 60's stashed away in her belongings (I don't know when they were produced, but that was the era she would have had it from). I found it and my friend and I read the directions on the box and asked questions.
We didn't believe it would work or know anything about it- just looked like a game to us. We messed around for a while and were about to put it away when the little white piece started to move to respond over the letters. We both screamed- I remember the other girl peed her pants and my Mom found us.
She flipped out and threw it in the garbage. I had terrible dreams for like a month, but...

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What is the iconic American board game?

Some would say Scrabble, and some would say Monopoly. I personally prefer Scrabble, but Monopoly has more support. There is, however, no definitive answer. Thanks for using

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